21 Aug Lessons Learned from Losing a Mentor

                  I lost a friend and mentor to cancer last month.

                 I’d known Nancy Anderson since the late 1980s and she was one of those people in my life that had a huge impact—in my career, my happiness, and how I’m spending my later years. High praise for what started out as a meeting with a “career counselor”. Oh, she became so much more.

                  My wife was studying Nancy’s first book, Work with Passion, crafting a second career path for herself after our kids were born. She noticed my work frustration, found Nancy had a counselling business not too far from our Northern California home, and made an appointment for me. (My wife is a take charge woman).

                  In subsequent meetings with Nancy, she always assigned homework. Most of it made me delve deeply into what I enjoyed, what sparked me, what I was passionate about. She used the technique of writing about yourself to uncover your hidden “passions” as she called them.

                  In one story about my childhood, she uncovered abuse that I’d suffered as a young boy. We discussed it, dug deeper, and Nancy recommended a therapist. I got the help I needed, and I credit Nancy as the catalyst for me to uncover and release those feelings of guilt and shame that had shackled me for 25 years. Huge.

                  In another assignment, Nancy asked me to bring “everything you’re writing—business, pleasure, journals, notes. Just bring everything.” The first twenty minutes of that session, she read, and I sat. I’d been writing short stories by then, and after she read one, she set it down on the table, looked at me in all earnestness, and said…

                  “You should write that one as a book.”

Not like a command, more like PERMISSION. Go ahead, you can do that. A few years later, I published my first novel, Hard Left. I’m taking a break on my 7^th book to write this newsletter.

                  Nancy Anderson had an uncanny…spiritual…maybe even miraculous…ability to see into a person, pinpoint simmering passions, and advocate the pursuit of that passion—always for the love of it, never for money. It was one of her favorite punchlines: “Do what you love, and the money will follow.”

                  Even though I hadn’t spoken to Nancy for many years, I always emailed her the release of my newest book. My fictional characters often embody Nancy’s legacy—pursue a passion no matter what the obstacles. In Hard Left, Cody Calhoun is cruising through life, doing well. He sees another “passion” and gives up “doing well” for the pursuit of a promising and invigorating passion. In The Resurrection of Johnny Roe, the hero resurrects his life around a long-dormant passion when all looks lost. In Anyone But Me, Paul Whiteside fight against cultural differences, gang violence, and interracial conflicts to do what he feels—and knows—is true and right for him.

 Somewhere now, from a heavenly perch above, I know she’s cheering me on—waiting to see what my next story will reveal about the passions in my life.

As a MEMORIAL to Nancy, here’s a list of my books with a short, snappy summary.

Hard Left: Teenage sports star in a coming-of-age story with young love, 60s music, bicycle racing, and a life lesson learned about the pursuit of passion.

Lumberjack Jesus: Inspired by my faith journey, 28 raw and honest essays, exploring themes of forgiveness, unconditional love, and self-acceptance. (Newly revised in 2024 with expanded content for Bible study or daily devotional).

The Resurrection of Johnny Roe: a journey of self-renewal that turns the protagonist into an unlikely hero in a high tech, Silicon Valley suspense thriller with bad guys, good guys, new love, twists and turns…and a bicycle.

The Carnival Chemist and Other Stories: a collection 15 thought-provoking short stories featuring strong, but troubled characters searching for human and divine connections to survive and thrive. With additional discussion questions and exercises.

Raising God’s Gen Z Teen: a collection of 33 practical and effective strategies to teach teenagers (and kids of all ages) self-reliance, confidence and responsibility.

Anyone But Me: an interracial love story of two people struggling to find purpose and personal impact, caught in one of Haiti’s most tumultuous and devastating times.

Here’s my question to YOU: Who in your life changed it for the better? And how? Who gave you permission to pursue a passion in your life? Please write me back and I’ll post a few in my next newsletter.

Hip Update

                  I had my second hip replaced with a new titanium model on July 2. Outpatient surgery—into the surgery center at 11 am, walking out on a walker at 6:30 pm. Now I’m walking, swimming, riding the stationary bike, and looking forward to getting back on a real bicycle and a live horse. No holding me back now!

Haiti Update

                  Haiti has a new prime minister, a new temporary government, and the Kenyan military force has landed to assist the National Police. We anticipate positive changes will continue to escalate, but Haiti being Haiti, it might take a while. At Extollo, we are instituting our protocol to evaluate when we can re-open our construction training center. We appreciate your prayers.

In my last newsletter…

                  I asked you to share a new passion you’ve been pursuing.

“As far as what activities I’m passionate about……Pickleball. I have been playing for over 6 years and love it because it keeps me active. I play outdoors. I tried inside venues, but it is too much stimulation for this old brain with all the sights and sounds. I played the day before I had my right knee replaced and I think it helped with my recovery.” D.H.

Quote I Like

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

Quote I Wrote

                  Books are like manners, they never go out of style.